At the center of our lives is what we value most and the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power. Today we continue to discuss Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind, and what alternatives to a principled center can mean for your happiness, feeling of self-worth, influence, etc. Check out the website for more content www.bcbousa.com
The four factors that stem from your center (security, guidance, wisdom, and power) all existing on a spectrum. It is not a matter of whether you have it or not, but to what levels. Security lies somewhere between totally insecure on one end and have complete confidence and faith in your abilities on the other. Guidance ranges from following the latests fads or crowds to knowing exactly what you want and how to get it. Wisdom can fall between feeling like you have no idea where you are going in life and knowing exactly how all the puzzle pieces fit together. Your power lies somewhere between being a puppet to everyone or being in total control of your actions and able to wield influence. All of these factors work together and impact all functions of your life.
In the book they discuss the different alternative centers that people create in their lives. Instead of having a principled center that is based on your core values and principles, your center is based on other things like your spouse, family, money, work, friends, possessions, or self. This could lead to wild swings in both your happiness and self worth.
Let’s discuss spouse centeredness as an example. Deep relationships with your spouse are important. However, if you entire emotional worth comes from your relationship and you have an emotional dependence to that person that is stronger than your own self dependence it could lead to hardships. Relationships change, you can become vulnerable to mood swings or changes in behavior. As stress enters the relationship it could lead to more fighting and conflict because you are both dependent on each other instead of yourselves.
Every person is a function of a variety of influences in their life and their “center” is not usually just one thing. Depending on the situation a person fluctuates from one center to another. As we continue with tomorrow’s episode we will dive deeper into why have a principled center as often as possible is what to strive for.
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